Addiction

ad·dic·tion. (ə-dĭk'shən) n.

1. 1. Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance,
   2. The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

I've got an addiction. And just just to coffee, my little motivator in a cup, my life force. No, I've got an addiction that doesn't bring me up or down, at least in a physical way.

My addiction? These girls:



That's right. My addiction is to Gilmore Girls, a canceled television show featuring Lorelei and Rory Gilmore, a mother and daughter who are incredibly close and talk really, really fast. I know my addiction because I fuel it nearly every day with five o'clock viewings on ABC Family, or, in case that doesn't do it for me, a disc or two of the series on DVD - which, I'm embarrassed to say, I "borrowed" from my best friend nearly eight or nine months ago. Two to eight hours a day of these girls has caused me to dream about them, think about them, and even mimic them. It's a sad little world, but I don't live it by myself. I've also gotten my mother hooked.

Maybe I use the word "addiction" too lightly. I mean, it certainly is one of those words that can be highly misused - it often gets used in place of words like "obsession" (the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc) or "compulsion" ( a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will). But then, maybe "addiction" is more pliable that I give it credit for. There are two definitions when you look it up on dictionary.com, after all (see above).

Physical addictions are easier to pinpoint. If I don't drink coffee, my head aches until my caffeine craving has been fixed. Caffeine is a highly addictive substance, as is nicotine, or many opiates. Your body literally becomes so used to having these substances that it reacts when it is being deprived of them. Anyone whose suffered a caffeine headache (which absolutely cannot be cured by popping a couple aspirin, let me tell you) or has craved a cigarette can attest to the body's real physical need for those substances.

Psychological addictions are harder. Some people assume that any addiction to a drug must be physical, but that's actually a misconception. If you were ask any pothead if they were physically addicted to pot, they would laugh in your face before munching a few more chips. Addictions to pot, as well as some other drugs, such as LSD, are purely psychological.

But I don't think that it means that a psychological addiction is any less real than a physical one. For example, someone with an addiction to pornography, which has been diagnosed as an actual addiction by the American Psychological Association, will spend hours or even days in isolation while they lose themselves in their online fantasies. This is far more damaging than a simple coffee or nicotine addiction.

Thinking about how these kinds of things can start is interesting, and I think that it helps to differentiate between addiction and obsession or compulsion. Addictions don't start off as full blown addictions. My first cup of coffee was a tall Caramel Machiatto that I made my brother buy me when I was a junior in high school. It affirmed in me that I didn't hate coffee. Occasionally I would go with friends to Starbucks, cutting our last class of the day (Constitutional Law with Mrs. Gourley) to imbibe on a hot, sugary, delicious drink. I left high school with an appreciation for grande caramel machiattos. Huzzah.

Then came college, and more friends who encouraged me to try different drinks. The lattes and mochas were good, but not worth a $4 a day habit. Then Junior year, I got a job at a coffee stand, where I was treated to a free concoction every other morning. I began thinking about coffee drinks of every variety (except black, of course, ew). I started buying them on the mornings when I didn't work, often groggy and angry before my morning doubletallonepointfivepumpsugarfreevanillaonepointfivepumpsugarfreehazelnutnonfatextrafoamlatte.

Soon, the financial burden became too much, and I made a bold step. I bought a coffee maker. That summer, I worked at a Starbucks in the airport, where working at 5:30 in the morning resulted in my tips being used to buy a tall black coffee and sugary treat. I was officially hooked.

From that fatal summer on, I haven't wanted to spend my hard-earned money on coffee, I haven't even wanted to drink it every day. It went from a pleasant experience, to a shiny obsession, to an unwanted-but-necessary compulsion, and blossomed into what it has become - a full-blown physical addiction to the bean.

Of course, that addiction, in addition to my GG addiction, isn't all bad. Some of my most pleasant experiences and conversations have been over a good cup of coffee, and some of the better parts of who I am are partially inspired by Rory and Lorelei (who, oddly enough, are also hopelessly addicted to the bean). I've come to admire Lorelei's strong, immovable character and Rory's ambition, and I've sought to imitate those aspects in my every day life.

Maybe that's the thing about addictions - we all enjoy something to the point of addiction, where we obsess about whatever it is, and then act on those obsessive thoughts even when we don't necessarily want to. But it doesn't have to be all bad. Let them run your life and you're screwed, yes, but without them we wouldn't be able to learn, to grow, to create inimitable experiences outside of them. The important thing is to recognize each of your addictions and learn how to control them. I'll never stop liking GG, and I'll probably be a coffee drinker for life, but I won't have (many) days where I sit on the couch and watcha whole season of Gilmore in one day, and I won't spend $4 a day till the day I die on coffee. These addictions have shaped who I am, though, and I'm reluctant to dismiss them as harmful just because I define them as addictions.

Finally, as a sort of interesting sidenote, I googled "weird addictions" and pulled up a blog that listed some of the weirder addictions out there. It's worth a read.

Weird addictions



SOURCES:
http://www.soulcast.com
http://www.dictionary.com
http://www.apa.org