22.1.09
12.1.09
Books.
book (b
k) n.1. A set of written, printed, or blank pages fastened along one side and encased between protective covers.
2. A printed or written literary work.
I have a love affair with books, but it's a flawed affair in a lot of ways. You see, I, like many others, have a tendency to cheat on the tales that lie between those endless pages by flipping on the television, or by surfing the internet until I want to gouge out my eyes, and everything after is awash in that LED afterglow. I've been known to cheat on book reports by renting the movie version, or reading the SparkNotes as a main source, rather than a supplemental resource. No, my relationship with books has not been exclusive, nor have I even tried to make it so. But the thing about books? They're always there, welcoming me back with beautiful stories and words of comfort.
They were my first love. For as long as I can remember, I was enraptured by the written word, voraciously reading every that I could get my hands on. My favorites, as any young girl would have told you in that time, were The Baby-Sitters Club series (I wanted to simultaneously be Claudia and Mary Anne at the same time) and the Nancy Drew series. Thrown in for good measure were the classics, Little Women and Heidi. One of my absolute favorites, though, one that I read over and over and over was Mara, Daughter of the Nile. Over and over I would read this book, always anxiously awaiting the last chapter, which I would read two, three times before setting it down, happy in my dreams of ancient Egypt.
As I grew older, though, my passion for books waned. I became consumed with wonders like the Internet, basic cable, and socializing with friends. I skimmed books in high school, relied heavily on SparkNotes, and basically became bored.
CNN today had a snippet about how the average teenager spends their free time: three hours per day are generally spent watching TV, an hour and a half are spent on the internet, one hour spent on playing video or hand held console games, and a mere thirty minutes per day spent reading any sort of medium.
While a part of me was surprised, there was that other part that shrugged it off - it seems our generation is constantly in need of being illuminated - and not in the intellectual way. We spend our days with lights dancing before our eyes, entranced by the simplified stories, cheap laughs, and ridiculous portrayals of human drama, believing every word. The words are never quoted as being important or meaningful, or even terribly insightful. The lights are there solely to entertain.
It used to be, not so many years ago, that a diverse and expansive library was the pride of every wealthy, well-read family. The bound volumes were cased in their own rooms, and important first editions were shown off to guests; inscriptions on the front covers told stories in themselves, and each library told the story of its owner. What about now? How many people even have bookshelves, let alone whole libraries?
Could it be that books are becoming outdated?
But then, even books are being subject to this futuristic version of the world related in visions and descriptions of the past. The Amazon Kindle takes away the feeling holding a book open and replaces it with a razor thin, dimly lit E-book. The feeling of a book in your hands, flipping through the pages, or skimming a couple of pages is gone. Just like the iPod took away the experience of opening a new CD, examining the album art and putting the disc in your player, thereby removing some of the connection between listener and artist, the Kindle removes the connection between reader and author. While both the Kindle and the iPod offer easier, more convenient methods of storage for their intended media, they offer little experience. Convenience is not experience, and experience is ten times the actual intrinsic value that experience has.
When I finally switched my major from Communication to English, I began to actually read - I took in the experience, the accomplishment of finishing a difficult novel, and the words themselves. The experience of reading was far more rewarding than an hour of television, or time spent on MySpace. I now keep a book with me at all times, tucked away in my far-too-full hangbag. That feeling alone brings me comfort.
What am I reading now? The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and The Autobiography of Mark Twain.
8.1.09
Addiction
ad·dic·tion. (ə-dĭk'shən) n.
I've got an addiction. And just just to coffee, my little motivator in a cup, my life force. No, I've got an addiction that doesn't bring me up or down, at least in a physical way.
My addiction? These girls:
That's right. My addiction is to Gilmore Girls, a canceled television show featuring Lorelei and Rory Gilmore, a mother and daughter who are incredibly close and talk really, really fast. I know my addiction because I fuel it nearly every day with five o'clock viewings on ABC Family, or, in case that doesn't do it for me, a disc or two of the series on DVD - which, I'm embarrassed to say, I "borrowed" from my best friend nearly eight or nine months ago. Two to eight hours a day of these girls has caused me to dream about them, think about them, and even mimic them. It's a sad little world, but I don't live it by myself. I've also gotten my mother hooked.
Maybe I use the word "addiction" too lightly. I mean, it certainly is one of those words that can be highly misused - it often gets used in place of words like "obsession" (the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc) or "compulsion" ( a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will). But then, maybe "addiction" is more pliable that I give it credit for. There are two definitions when you look it up on dictionary.com, after all (see above).
Physical addictions are easier to pinpoint. If I don't drink coffee, my head aches until my caffeine craving has been fixed. Caffeine is a highly addictive substance, as is nicotine, or many opiates. Your body literally becomes so used to having these substances that it reacts when it is being deprived of them. Anyone whose suffered a caffeine headache (which absolutely cannot be cured by popping a couple aspirin, let me tell you) or has craved a cigarette can attest to the body's real physical need for those substances.
Psychological addictions are harder. Some people assume that any addiction to a drug must be physical, but that's actually a misconception. If you were ask any pothead if they were physically addicted to pot, they would laugh in your face before munching a few more chips. Addictions to pot, as well as some other drugs, such as LSD, are purely psychological.
But I don't think that it means that a psychological addiction is any less real than a physical one. For example, someone with an addiction to pornography, which has been diagnosed as an actual addiction by the American Psychological Association, will spend hours or even days in isolation while they lose themselves in their online fantasies. This is far more damaging than a simple coffee or nicotine addiction.
Thinking about how these kinds of things can start is interesting, and I think that it helps to differentiate between addiction and obsession or compulsion. Addictions don't start off as full blown addictions. My first cup of coffee was a tall Caramel Machiatto that I made my brother buy me when I was a junior in high school. It affirmed in me that I didn't hate coffee. Occasionally I would go with friends to Starbucks, cutting our last class of the day (Constitutional Law with Mrs. Gourley) to imbibe on a hot, sugary, delicious drink. I left high school with an appreciation for grande caramel machiattos. Huzzah.
Then came college, and more friends who encouraged me to try different drinks. The lattes and mochas were good, but not worth a $4 a day habit. Then Junior year, I got a job at a coffee stand, where I was treated to a free concoction every other morning. I began thinking about coffee drinks of every variety (except black, of course, ew). I started buying them on the mornings when I didn't work, often groggy and angry before my morning doubletallonepointfivepumpsugarfreevanillaonepointfivepumpsugarfreehazelnutnonfatextrafoamlatte.
Soon, the financial burden became too much, and I made a bold step. I bought a coffee maker. That summer, I worked at a Starbucks in the airport, where working at 5:30 in the morning resulted in my tips being used to buy a tall black coffee and sugary treat. I was officially hooked.
From that fatal summer on, I haven't wanted to spend my hard-earned money on coffee, I haven't even wanted to drink it every day. It went from a pleasant experience, to a shiny obsession, to an unwanted-but-necessary compulsion, and blossomed into what it has become - a full-blown physical addiction to the bean.
Of course, that addiction, in addition to my GG addiction, isn't all bad. Some of my most pleasant experiences and conversations have been over a good cup of coffee, and some of the better parts of who I am are partially inspired by Rory and Lorelei (who, oddly enough, are also hopelessly addicted to the bean). I've come to admire Lorelei's strong, immovable character and Rory's ambition, and I've sought to imitate those aspects in my every day life.
Maybe that's the thing about addictions - we all enjoy something to the point of addiction, where we obsess about whatever it is, and then act on those obsessive thoughts even when we don't necessarily want to. But it doesn't have to be all bad. Let them run your life and you're screwed, yes, but without them we wouldn't be able to learn, to grow, to create inimitable experiences outside of them. The important thing is to recognize each of your addictions and learn how to control them. I'll never stop liking GG, and I'll probably be a coffee drinker for life, but I won't have (many) days where I sit on the couch and watcha whole season of Gilmore in one day, and I won't spend $4 a day till the day I die on coffee. These addictions have shaped who I am, though, and I'm reluctant to dismiss them as harmful just because I define them as addictions.
Finally, as a sort of interesting sidenote, I googled "weird addictions" and pulled up a blog that listed some of the weirder addictions out there. It's worth a read.
Weird addictions
SOURCES:
http://www.soulcast.com
http://www.dictionary.com
http://www.apa.org
- Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance,
- The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.
I've got an addiction. And just just to coffee, my little motivator in a cup, my life force. No, I've got an addiction that doesn't bring me up or down, at least in a physical way.
My addiction? These girls:
That's right. My addiction is to Gilmore Girls, a canceled television show featuring Lorelei and Rory Gilmore, a mother and daughter who are incredibly close and talk really, really fast. I know my addiction because I fuel it nearly every day with five o'clock viewings on ABC Family, or, in case that doesn't do it for me, a disc or two of the series on DVD - which, I'm embarrassed to say, I "borrowed" from my best friend nearly eight or nine months ago. Two to eight hours a day of these girls has caused me to dream about them, think about them, and even mimic them. It's a sad little world, but I don't live it by myself. I've also gotten my mother hooked.
Maybe I use the word "addiction" too lightly. I mean, it certainly is one of those words that can be highly misused - it often gets used in place of words like "obsession" (the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc) or "compulsion" ( a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will). But then, maybe "addiction" is more pliable that I give it credit for. There are two definitions when you look it up on dictionary.com, after all (see above).
Physical addictions are easier to pinpoint. If I don't drink coffee, my head aches until my caffeine craving has been fixed. Caffeine is a highly addictive substance, as is nicotine, or many opiates. Your body literally becomes so used to having these substances that it reacts when it is being deprived of them. Anyone whose suffered a caffeine headache (which absolutely cannot be cured by popping a couple aspirin, let me tell you) or has craved a cigarette can attest to the body's real physical need for those substances.
Psychological addictions are harder. Some people assume that any addiction to a drug must be physical, but that's actually a misconception. If you were ask any pothead if they were physically addicted to pot, they would laugh in your face before munching a few more chips. Addictions to pot, as well as some other drugs, such as LSD, are purely psychological.
But I don't think that it means that a psychological addiction is any less real than a physical one. For example, someone with an addiction to pornography, which has been diagnosed as an actual addiction by the American Psychological Association, will spend hours or even days in isolation while they lose themselves in their online fantasies. This is far more damaging than a simple coffee or nicotine addiction.
Thinking about how these kinds of things can start is interesting, and I think that it helps to differentiate between addiction and obsession or compulsion. Addictions don't start off as full blown addictions. My first cup of coffee was a tall Caramel Machiatto that I made my brother buy me when I was a junior in high school. It affirmed in me that I didn't hate coffee. Occasionally I would go with friends to Starbucks, cutting our last class of the day (Constitutional Law with Mrs. Gourley) to imbibe on a hot, sugary, delicious drink. I left high school with an appreciation for grande caramel machiattos. Huzzah.
Then came college, and more friends who encouraged me to try different drinks. The lattes and mochas were good, but not worth a $4 a day habit. Then Junior year, I got a job at a coffee stand, where I was treated to a free concoction every other morning. I began thinking about coffee drinks of every variety (except black, of course, ew). I started buying them on the mornings when I didn't work, often groggy and angry before my morning doubletallonepointfivepumpsugarfreevanillaonepointfivepumpsugarfreehazelnutnonfatextrafoamlatte.
Soon, the financial burden became too much, and I made a bold step. I bought a coffee maker. That summer, I worked at a Starbucks in the airport, where working at 5:30 in the morning resulted in my tips being used to buy a tall black coffee and sugary treat. I was officially hooked.
From that fatal summer on, I haven't wanted to spend my hard-earned money on coffee, I haven't even wanted to drink it every day. It went from a pleasant experience, to a shiny obsession, to an unwanted-but-necessary compulsion, and blossomed into what it has become - a full-blown physical addiction to the bean.
Of course, that addiction, in addition to my GG addiction, isn't all bad. Some of my most pleasant experiences and conversations have been over a good cup of coffee, and some of the better parts of who I am are partially inspired by Rory and Lorelei (who, oddly enough, are also hopelessly addicted to the bean). I've come to admire Lorelei's strong, immovable character and Rory's ambition, and I've sought to imitate those aspects in my every day life.
Maybe that's the thing about addictions - we all enjoy something to the point of addiction, where we obsess about whatever it is, and then act on those obsessive thoughts even when we don't necessarily want to. But it doesn't have to be all bad. Let them run your life and you're screwed, yes, but without them we wouldn't be able to learn, to grow, to create inimitable experiences outside of them. The important thing is to recognize each of your addictions and learn how to control them. I'll never stop liking GG, and I'll probably be a coffee drinker for life, but I won't have (many) days where I sit on the couch and watcha whole season of Gilmore in one day, and I won't spend $4 a day till the day I die on coffee. These addictions have shaped who I am, though, and I'm reluctant to dismiss them as harmful just because I define them as addictions.
Finally, as a sort of interesting sidenote, I googled "weird addictions" and pulled up a blog that listed some of the weirder addictions out there. It's worth a read.
Weird addictions
SOURCES:
http://www.soulcast.com
http://www.dictionary.com
http://www.apa.org
7.1.09
ABC, the key?
I know how to write. I'm actually a pretty decent writer, and I love the feeling of finishing a project, be it a short piece a fiction, or non-fiction, or, in those old days when I had classes, even a paper for school. I have had a love of writing since I was in the fifth grade, when I declared that I wanted to be an author when I grew up. It's been something I've clung to through every moment of my life, the thought that someday, someone could read my words and let those words impact them, if even just for a moment.
There's just one problem. The act of sitting down and putting words onto laptop is ridiculously grueling. I've often joked with the peers in my creative writing classes that my future home needs to have chains on my office, so that I cannot leave until my task for the day is finished. Unfortunately, however, still living with my parents presents me with no such option, and this has left me in a major downward slump.
So my writing has suffered, mainly because it hasn't existed (there's a question: can something suffer if it has never existed? Well, no would be my answer, but hey, go with it.).
One of my good friends suggested that I start a blog, separate from my others, that is entirely devoted to writing. She has her own project blog, 500 Conversations in 2009, which is dedicated to reflecting on 500 deliberate conversations she plans on having before the end of the year. Not only is her endeavor creative and interesting, but it's also inspiring. Stephanie suggested that I use a theme to get myself writing more - thus, ABC's. Get it back to the basics of writing.
I'll be posting at least two blogs per week. For each blog, I'll pick a word beginning with the next letter in the alphabet. When I get to 'Z', I'll start over again on 'A.' This isn't meant to be a vocabulary lesson, so there won't be many words that are new and foreign, or even difficult - 'B' might be 'Boys', or it could be 'Bromidic". It all depends on my inspiration.
This isn't meant to change the world, nor will it be literary genius. I just want to get my juices flowing so that I can Actualize, Build, and Conceive my creative thoughts.
There's just one problem. The act of sitting down and putting words onto laptop is ridiculously grueling. I've often joked with the peers in my creative writing classes that my future home needs to have chains on my office, so that I cannot leave until my task for the day is finished. Unfortunately, however, still living with my parents presents me with no such option, and this has left me in a major downward slump.
So my writing has suffered, mainly because it hasn't existed (there's a question: can something suffer if it has never existed? Well, no would be my answer, but hey, go with it.).
One of my good friends suggested that I start a blog, separate from my others, that is entirely devoted to writing. She has her own project blog, 500 Conversations in 2009, which is dedicated to reflecting on 500 deliberate conversations she plans on having before the end of the year. Not only is her endeavor creative and interesting, but it's also inspiring. Stephanie suggested that I use a theme to get myself writing more - thus, ABC's. Get it back to the basics of writing.
I'll be posting at least two blogs per week. For each blog, I'll pick a word beginning with the next letter in the alphabet. When I get to 'Z', I'll start over again on 'A.' This isn't meant to be a vocabulary lesson, so there won't be many words that are new and foreign, or even difficult - 'B' might be 'Boys', or it could be 'Bromidic". It all depends on my inspiration.
This isn't meant to change the world, nor will it be literary genius. I just want to get my juices flowing so that I can Actualize, Build, and Conceive my creative thoughts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
+040.jpg)